Independence : An issue ?

I recently came across on a post by a friend on street harassment. It’s almost an everyday issue nowadays that girls even ladies or old Grandmas are molested and harrased in our country. May it be anywhere. You are seriously one in a billion lucky if you haven’t gone through any of that. 
I just over heard a conversation today. Two ladies , both of them well educated, well known and respectable in their professions, were talking about some girl 22- 23 years of age.  They were talking about how the girl’s parents are doing the right thing by finding a good match for her at this age. And also how after reaching at the age of 25 a girl starts becoming independent and then it creates a problem to adjust and marry. Hearing them talking like this, kept me pondering about it all day long..

Women empowerment! Many people have been talking about that now a days in India. What is empowerment of women?! In what the empowerment lies?!  Now according to me , creating a society where a women has independence to make her decisions on her own for personal benefits or the society is women empowerment. To most of us this holds true. What is the threat to women empowerment?! Only men?! Hearing the above conversation, no.. men and women equally threatens women empowerment. Any thought that hinders the independence and thoughts of women is a threat to women empowerment. 

Street harrasment, Eve teasing, molestation at work place all are a different aspect altogether. I want to talk about the other part. A girl , since she is born, is constantly fighting for her rights here. Her independence is constantly being controlled, sometimes in the name of protection and sometimes in the name of duties. 

We talk about the things that happens outside on the streets , but hey what about our own people we live in between? Hearing the above ladies talk like this, it occured to me that, why is that so? Why is the independence of girl looked upon that way? Shouldnt she have the call to make decisions about herself? Isn’t she capable? She might want to study further, she might even want to take a job and achieve her goals in life, she even might want to marry and settle down. But hey, it’s her call to make. Why would her independence not lead to a good life to her?

What is wrong with people? Why is that so? After reaching an age of 25, why is every girl’s parents having a line of tension on their forehead? Even if they are at peace , the society don’t let them. Why is a girl burden after 25? Why a father is never at peace when his daughter turns 25?  Why can’t a girl be at peace once she reach 25..? Why can’t she persue her dreams of being free? Why cant she settle down once she feels like?

A girl when given wings can fly like a bird. A girl when given right shoes can explore a path that you’ve never imagined. A girl when given the independence can work wonders! So much things are hyped about women empowerment. Women empowerment doesn’t lay in raising a voice against it lays in respecting a lady, her thoughts, and her independence. If she wants to she will be a home maker , and if she aspires to be a corporate worker she will be that, if she wants to settle she will, be it.. let it be her decisions and only hers. Why has she to look and think about society while making her decisions? Why she fears a constant judging?  If she does what she likes, she has to hear that she is given too much Independence. What is too much Independence? It’s either there or not. There is nothing like too much in it. Tell her when she is wrong . But don’t just pull her down because of what society will think.

Women empowerment will be there only when there would be a change in people’s thought and they will stop idealizing the behaviour of women. Independence of speech, expression, work , breathing, living is a basic right every human is born with. And we deny them to a women in name of customs, protections, duties, respect, fear. 

What if she has her own job? Can pay her own bills? Doesn’t need to depend on anyone else for a living? Has her own dreams? That would make her not worthy to marry or adjust? You know what, it simply means she doesn’t need your money to live with you, she will look upon a healthy relationship and not just a dominance and submission. She will be eligible to take care of her own and would also be able to look upon to world and contribute to its progress.
 A simple change in thought is needed. How is independence of a girl an issue?

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