Life and Death

There I am! Finally…! Getting some peaceful hours today! Life sometimes has its own plans for you and you can’t help but be occupied. Today there is this lazy morning I m getting after a long time.. and so as usual I couldn’t help but write. 
Birthday…The day we are born in to this world.. the day when we first open our eyes and look at the world .. our fate is decided that day. The day a life begins.. it’s journey towards the end begins… Anything that has a life is sure to die. A life is born, it survives the atmosphere… It adapts.. it thrives.. it succeeds … It fails… It ages… And finally the destination.. it ends! 

Why is death so feared then? Why we fear to die? Why we fear someone’s death? We all know in back of our mind that it is going to end someday! 
It is the fear of unknown. It’s like thinking that we are being wise without actually being wise. No one knows what death is like. Those who know are not here to describe.  It could be the best thing happening, instead of the biggest evil that we consider it to be.

We only fear loss of life.. loss of what we have and loss of unfulfilled desires and wishes. We fear what we are going to do if the person is lost forever. We fear the absence of life instead of the presence of death. The boundaries which divides life and death are shadowy and vague, we don’t know where what ends and what begins.. We fear death more than pain. In fact , death is the ultimate medicine of all the pains.

 There won’t be any human that wouldn’t be afraid of death. Any living being is afraid of death. The fear is same as a kid fearing going in to the dark. He has heard tales that evil resides in the dark. He is fearing the unknown in the dark. But as soon as he reaches understanding age it vanishes.So is with us, we fear death when we are young. We fear the loss, we fear the unknown. But as soon as we reach nearer the age, we begin to understand that your life was just a part ,a teeny weeny part in this whole universe. You were just playing your part. Noone else could take your place. You would have affected many lives, you would have ended some hopes, rejuvenated some…But, Death was destined. 

So it’s just matter of time that you understand it. Till than this fear can be redirected in to enjoying your life. Unfulfilled desires, wishes, checklists, etc don’t keep them waiting. Never do that! Get your ass moving! Death is not tragic, but what we let die inside of us while alive is tragic. Fulfill your wishes in this one life, affect the hearts of people in this one life time. So that when you do die, you don’t have to get reincarnated again to fullfil them. 🤣😉😆

A day well spent gives a happy sleep, 

A life well spent gives a happy death

Independence : An issue ?

I recently came across on a post by a friend on street harassment. It’s almost an everyday issue nowadays that girls even ladies or old Grandmas are molested and harrased in our country. May it be anywhere. You are seriously one in a billion lucky if you haven’t gone through any of that. 
I just over heard a conversation today. Two ladies , both of them well educated, well known and respectable in their professions, were talking about some girl 22- 23 years of age.  They were talking about how the girl’s parents are doing the right thing by finding a good match for her at this age. And also how after reaching at the age of 25 a girl starts becoming independent and then it creates a problem to adjust and marry. Hearing them talking like this, kept me pondering about it all day long..

Women empowerment! Many people have been talking about that now a days in India. What is empowerment of women?! In what the empowerment lies?!  Now according to me , creating a society where a women has independence to make her decisions on her own for personal benefits or the society is women empowerment. To most of us this holds true. What is the threat to women empowerment?! Only men?! Hearing the above conversation, no.. men and women equally threatens women empowerment. Any thought that hinders the independence and thoughts of women is a threat to women empowerment. 

Street harrasment, Eve teasing, molestation at work place all are a different aspect altogether. I want to talk about the other part. A girl , since she is born, is constantly fighting for her rights here. Her independence is constantly being controlled, sometimes in the name of protection and sometimes in the name of duties. 

We talk about the things that happens outside on the streets , but hey what about our own people we live in between? Hearing the above ladies talk like this, it occured to me that, why is that so? Why is the independence of girl looked upon that way? Shouldnt she have the call to make decisions about herself? Isn’t she capable? She might want to study further, she might even want to take a job and achieve her goals in life, she even might want to marry and settle down. But hey, it’s her call to make. Why would her independence not lead to a good life to her?

What is wrong with people? Why is that so? After reaching an age of 25, why is every girl’s parents having a line of tension on their forehead? Even if they are at peace , the society don’t let them. Why is a girl burden after 25? Why a father is never at peace when his daughter turns 25?  Why can’t a girl be at peace once she reach 25..? Why can’t she persue her dreams of being free? Why cant she settle down once she feels like?

A girl when given wings can fly like a bird. A girl when given right shoes can explore a path that you’ve never imagined. A girl when given the independence can work wonders! So much things are hyped about women empowerment. Women empowerment doesn’t lay in raising a voice against it lays in respecting a lady, her thoughts, and her independence. If she wants to she will be a home maker , and if she aspires to be a corporate worker she will be that, if she wants to settle she will, be it.. let it be her decisions and only hers. Why has she to look and think about society while making her decisions? Why she fears a constant judging?  If she does what she likes, she has to hear that she is given too much Independence. What is too much Independence? It’s either there or not. There is nothing like too much in it. Tell her when she is wrong . But don’t just pull her down because of what society will think.

Women empowerment will be there only when there would be a change in people’s thought and they will stop idealizing the behaviour of women. Independence of speech, expression, work , breathing, living is a basic right every human is born with. And we deny them to a women in name of customs, protections, duties, respect, fear. 

What if she has her own job? Can pay her own bills? Doesn’t need to depend on anyone else for a living? Has her own dreams? That would make her not worthy to marry or adjust? You know what, it simply means she doesn’t need your money to live with you, she will look upon a healthy relationship and not just a dominance and submission. She will be eligible to take care of her own and would also be able to look upon to world and contribute to its progress.
 A simple change in thought is needed. How is independence of a girl an issue?

Help A little! 

It’s been a week since 2017. Many new resolutions taken. Travel, Bungee jumping, paragliding.. for me more of writing and sketching. In the high of the moment and time , we all think about our personal wishes to be fullfill ed this new year. They are necessary , Yes! They are important in their ways. How else are we gonna live! Lol!

There is one another kind of new resolution I wish to take! To help others the way I can! We are always occupied with ourselves. Our jobs, our family time and our travel. But there are numerous persons we meet each day. Our one kindness can make a difference in others life sometimes. May it be a small worker or CEO of the firm. 

Cultivate the moral of humanity in others too. Yes, we cannot help everyone but everyone can help someone!We think too much and feel too little, more than machinery we need humanity and more than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness. 

Have you ever felt hopeless?! Stuck somewhere? Where you just need one hand and it’s not there! Help someone, atleast he will have the hope that the world is yet not empty of goodness! There are many organizations running for helping the one in need. But when every individual will take charge, it would be more beneficial than a single organization trying. Humanity has been long lost these days. Competition, race, achieving goals have made us all selfish and goal oriented. We need to take break and literally learn to be humans in this dog race. 

 I just came across this chain of cafe called “Seva cafe”. “Seva” means volunteering yourself. In this cafe there are no prices in menus, and the check reads Rs. 0 with a foot note ” Your meal was gifted by someone who came before you, to keep the chain alive we invite you to pay for those who dine after you” 

You can visit the site here! And that made all the difference. Try to be helpful! And see the change in your heart and shine in the eyes of the needy! Hope ! my dear, wins every battle. If you cultivate hope in someone’s life there is nothing more meaningful to your life!

Happy helping! 

Priority, Protesting, Personal gain or sacrifice!

Life.. what makes a life? Oxygen, circulation, blood, conscious state and an active brain. Uh well, that’s what we learn in science! But for a science student there is this part ,the science behind the life part and then there is the other part where life is due to surroundings and the people they interact to. And let’s forget about the science part of the life here!

Peaceful life to a normal human being is a perfect balance of their outer surrounding and inner thoughts. If both are in balance. There is peace. Now , outer surrounding includes the people they interact with, the people they love, the work they do, the friends they achieve or loose. And, Their inner thoughts include their ambitions, their dreams, their goals, their expectations, ways of happiness. When both are in harmony. A person is at peace. But if any one gets affected. Oops! You end up messed!

What can go wrong? Anything! Cz if peace includes this long list of things then obviously , even if we try our best and make no mistakes on our part, remember there are other people out there that can affect us. Human is a social being. Willingly or unwillingly! He has to interact with people around!

We dream, We have ambitions, We have our little world inside us! We work for achieving those things constantly. There sometimes comes a situation where we have to decide priorities against our own selves. There might be a situation where the other person that is an integral part of our life gets in between.

What if he demands his priorities against yours? What if your happiness and ambitions are overlooked if you go according to the person’s wish? Well in this situation , your mind will strongly rebel and protest against the doing of the person . Chaos will be created. You will be hanging between a thin line of personal gain and loosing it without any relevance. You know the person is having selfish motto behind. And he just is expressing his frustration over you. He might be in a bad condition over all. And it’s just mirrored in his doings.

What if you know that you are right and the person is just in anger? That it will not matter anymore when everything is alright with him. And you still will loose things after that. Personally, I was in one situation. And Yeah i made a mess . But as they say mistakes always teach you something at a cost. I paid the cost but I learnt a lesson of life time.

So what I learnt? In these situations, we should decide the priorities. Between personal gain and the person’s wish. Many a times , we are put in to this situation by the only ones that are nearer and dearer to us. What then?! Protesting is not the smart idea here. Trust me! You need to let go of some of your personal gains here. Wait till the other person is alright. You have to let go of your dreams and ambitions sometimes. Just to make the person that is dearer to you feel in power. Not because you are weak to protest. But you are sensible and understanding enough not to. You have to bow down at the time, just to make the person realize he is important than your ambition. This won’t make you weak no! Neither it will make you unable to take a stand and all. It will just make you wiser. You can always shine later! Understanding when to take a stand and when to bow down is the real trick!

Convey things with a smile sometimes, 

Avoid fights with a smile sometimes,

Problems are many,

With you and some with me,

But decide somethings over time! 

May be there won’t be a person to make you smile tomorrow,

So make today count with him,

Learn to compromise for somethings,

Cz maybe Bowing down is better than loosing a relation!

Smile with someone,

And fight too with equal right!

Learn to wipe the tears of dear ones,

What respect and disrespect in a relationship or friendship?

Just learn to live in the heart of others!

Protest

Secret of Eyes…

Working as a dentist .. I come in contact with many people.. almost of all ages. From a kid to a grand mother. Recently I was treating a patient,  a granny of considerable age. She was here for a short period of time. After tons of problem I could finally get her work done. Grannies are usually hard to tackle, trust me! But there was this thing she always did, she always hugged me after the end of an appointment. Well.. when at the end of a tiring session if you get this warm hug full of love from a granny, you feel a bit lighter. I often kept thinking about her. I live with my granny. And I found one thing so common amongst them. All the grannies and grandads have a thing in common. Those eyes! 

As we all know, as per biological aging our life has been divided in to periods such as infancy, teenage, youth, adulthood, old age. Different names according to different classifications. There is some unique thing about each age group. No I m not talking about biology here!

I might just put up my own classification about phases of life. On the basis of what I saw.  We change through out our lives. Our soul undergoes transformation. What we are, what we become! All depends on our environment and how we respond and adapt to that. But everything that happens to your soul, reflects in your eyes. 

When a child is born, it is introduced to the world. Just like the sprout coming out of seed. The first page of a blank notebook. The uncut diamond. when you see in a child’s eyes. You won’t see seven wonders of world.. you will see seven million. They don’t have past, neither future they just know present.Their souls are clean and fresh like a daisy. It reflects in their eyes. They are happy without reason. They have the one most valuable thing reflecting in their eyes. Innocence!

“Everytime a child is born , the world is renewed in innocence. “

When the child turns in to a teenager. His brain starts to perceive things around himself. There is a thirst to know everything he sees. To learn everything around him. They are not afraid to explore anything, poke at anything, or question anything. They have a unique spark in their eyes. Curiosity!

Curiosity is the quality that urges a child to keep on finding out more, to connect actions with outcomes, people with feelings. Wondering why is the powerful engine that drives discovery. “

– Dr Stanley Greenspan.

After the teenage , child enters the most delightful phase of life. The Youth. It is a wonderful thing, like a hot flush. The hot days of ending summer. You see some kind of energy, a kind of power that can change anything. Their eyes are full of dreams . Big and small. Their eyes are ocean where their dreams are reflected. They have the special twinkle in their eyes. Dreams!

” How beautiful is the Youth! How bright it gleams with its illusions, aspirations and dreams! Book of Beginnings , Story without End, Each maiden a heroine,  Each man a friend! “

– Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

After the Youth comes the adulthood. The kid that was dreaming , now sees differently. This transition to adulthood shakes the core of his soul. He realizes that he is solely responsible for himself. Priorities change. There comes a point where finally the dream breaks and you are touched by reality. Quality replaces quantity. As an adult, the person wants a future not just a for now.Dreams are replaced by responsibilities. Looking at those eyes, the fire and dreams are gone. You find a mildness and soberness. Their thinking change! The soul change! Eyes lack those twinkles and shine. A glimpse of fear appears in the eyes along with some control and maturity.Responsibilities! 

” Great challenge of Adulthood is holding on to your idealism after you loose your innocence “

-Bruce sprinsteen

As the adulthood ages further, comes the old age. The age of wisdom. When you see the eyes of your granny. They might seem dull at first but holding on your glance for just some more you’ll see a book of stories and experiences,Wisdom and knowledge . Each wrinkle has its own story. You realize as the age grows that it wasn’t all about what you look like or what you own, it was all about the person you’ve become. It reflects in those eyes. Wisdom! 

Beautiful young peoples are accidents of nature. But beautiful old people are works of art.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt.

So through out the life you are exposed to certain changes. You adapt to some, some leave a mark on your soul. The process of transition of your soul reflects in your eyes. Observe a kid , a young girl, an adult, a granny.. look in to their eyes. You will see the story there. Our life is like a poem which begins in delight and ends in wisdom. So embrace each phase that passes by. Every individual has to undergo change of phases . World is made up of different people in their respective different phases of life. Each learning from the other. Each teaching some thing to other. That’s how we live! 

 And everyday, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling,” this is important! And this is important ! You need to worry about these.”

And each day it’s upto you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, ” No! This is what’s important. ! “

-Ian Thomas

To my younger self..

At this stage of life, when I look back in time…I realize how far we’ve all reached. They are pages of a blank note book. Each page having its own story. If time travel was possible and you could go back in time and say something to your younger self.. write a note to your younger self.. have you thought what would it be? 

Well I was asked to answer that in just two words. And I couldn’t. I kept on thinking. Which was the most important thing to tell? And I couldn’t answer it. 

Here is what I thought..

  • You don’t have to be perfect.  The first thing that came to my mind. Imperfections, they are your identity. It’s ok not to be perfect in everything. There are things you won’t get right always. From doing your hairs to completing some important task. It’s ok ! 
  • Choose to do.  There will be points in life where you’ll have to choose between things. Choose wisely. Choose freely. Take charge. As no matter what you choose to do, you’ll regret not doing the other. But that’s how you become wise anyways! 
  • Do mistakes, Never give up. Yes, do mistakes. That’s how you are supposed to learn in life. Wisdom comes your way if you do mistakes. Do mistakes once, twice, thrice, nth number of times, till you find where you are wrong. Never give up. Doing mistakes are way better than doing nothing. You’ll learn. You’ll become a different person.
  • Just be yourself.   Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful and magical you. Cz you are one of a kind! 
  • You’ve got the guts to find your own purpose.  However impossible it may seem. Yes, you’ve got the guts! You don’t need to believe in what others say. Pause or stop if you need to but you have the guts to find the path again. Find your own purpose you have in life. 
  • Invest.  Invest in your passions. Invest in your dreams. Invest in quality times with your loved ones. Invest in creating memories to cherish. 
  • Know yourself.   If you ever loose love. Don’t go out looking for it. Reach inside you and recreate what you lost. You are love. You cannot lose you.

So dear little me, 

I haven’t talked to you before.  It’s your older self writing here to you. Hope you are doing well.

I can see the struggles you are facing.  I can see it in your eyes, that you feel like you don’t belong. I can see you are scared of what is to come. I can feel it in your soul that you are struggling and you need some guidance. You quiver at the sight of people and shudder at the touch of stranger. I know it’s not been fair enough for you. But hey! Don’t worry all this will lead to something good. I assure you. Hold on some more. 

Live! dream! play! work!  dance! sing! care! dare! fight! cry! Do everything you need to do at the moment. It’s okay! You’ll make it through this. Stay strong. Embrace happiness. The best is yet to come.

P.S : You need to stop over thinking. You’ll turn in to maniac. Seriously!

Sincerely, 

Your older self.